Around 2013, I started walking my dog, Charlie, at the park regularly. Big Cottonwood Regional Park was close to my home. Charlie loved walking in the park, and so did I. Exposing myself to social situations was another reason. Going to the park alleviated the depression I felt from struggling every day to manage my disabilities. Although I’m not able to socialize on a regular basis due to having autism spectrum disorder, lung disease, and chronic pain; seeing fellow dog walkers at the park was enjoyable for me. The brief encounters with other people helped me feel connected. Once home, I felt accomplished, in a way. 

Having so many disabilities continues to block my ability to socialize the way I always pictured myself being. Texting, talking on the phone, social media, and public encounters (even with friends and family) remain impossible for me to do without great anxiety. Not being able to be the ‘go to’ person I always wanted to be… the best friend… or the ultimate inspiration is a great source shame for me.
Please understand, this is why I do not communicate with anyone.

Creating dazzling colors while painting with oils causes me great difficulty and takes a long time. Keeping the colors separated is the only way to keep the colors bright. I strive for accuracy, but getting bold, intense colors is more important to me. I only use one color at a time, per brush, rarely mixing one with another (titanium white is the exception).  If a hair width of red infringes on a razors edge of green… it's intolerable.  
I love painting!  However, it’s almost impossible to meet my own expectations. There is the “right” way to paint and there’s the way I do it.  Painting requires my full mental and physical capacity. Preserving the color of the pigment isn’t a choice for me.

It is my discipline.

Beginning a new park scene every other day and sharing with my sister, Heather, is what helped me through the COVID restrictions in 2020. We both literally stayed inside our apartments for a full year due to the high risks of becoming infected with COVID on top of having severe lung disease. Heather had more severe versions of the same disabilities I have. It kept her from going out much. It meant a lot to me to feel like I was making my sister’s life better by sharing as much new art as I could. Painting everyday shuttled me through these past 5 years and continues to motivate me. Waking up to paint is what I live for. Inspiring people is my passion. Suffering affects us all the same. It’s the human condition. Following the inspiration to help other people through their struggles by creating art has kept me alive. Producing art for people to live for is part of my purpose. I, sincerely hope taking “A Walk In the Park” will lift your spirits today.